Baby, I wish I could fix you. If I could make it all go away I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm sure I've done things that upset you in the past, and apparently in the recent past, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know I would never do anything to try to hurt you. This may all sound empty and trite now but it's true, whether you believe me or not. I've tried my best to help you, and if it's seemed like I'm ignoring you sometimes it's just because I'm trying to honor your wishes and give you space. You need to tell us what we are doing, specifically, that bothers you. Is it flaming faerie jokes? Would you have rather we not watched a movie in your room last night? You need to tell us things too! You want to make everyone else talk about everything, so talk to us too! We love you, and you know this, because you're always trying to convince me of the same things: WE LOVE YOU, WE NEED YOU, AND WE WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH WE VALUE YOU. I just don't know what to do for you. It seems like everything I do pisses SOMEONE off, and I'm at a loss. When I vent into my LoveJournal, it's not a request for action on ANYONE's part, and I'm so sorry if I ever made it seem that way. That was never my intent. Most of the people who see it are far far away and have known me for a very, very long time. It's mostly directed at them if at anyone, on the rare occasion there's intent behind it at all. This is what I meant when I said the people I needed were far away: Not that I don't want to talk to you or don't need you to help me, but that YOU don't need to be dealing with MY shit. If I tell you things, it's for the sake of your understanding, not me dumping on you. I dump to my LJ.
And I don't really know what else I could say at this point, because I feel like no matter what I'm going to make you angry and I'd sooner cut off my arms. We all have our shit to deal with, and no one's lessens anyone else's. I offer you whatever you need to take from me. If you want constructive criticism and a different viewpoint on anything, I'll give it to you as a sister. If you want me to walk out of your life, I will, because I care about you enough to give you that if it's really what you need to be better. If you need a kidney or a lung or a blood transfusion, cut me open. If you want me to never talk to you about any of my problems no matter what, I will do that. Just tell me what you need.
And you don't have to respond to this; I just wanted to say it to you in a form where you can see it and come back to it and absorb it when you're ready.
I will always be here for you, until the day you send me away, because I love you.